Bring Back the Burke!
March 17th 2007 14:24
It is a truth universally acknowledged that the Waratahs are crap. It was acknowledged by the 18000 supposedly at Aussie Stadium tonight. It is acknowledged by the 22000 others who didn’t bother coming. It was acknowledged by David Lyons in the post-match interview, saying, “We could have scored more tries”. It was acknowledged by the Referee, who awarded a tokenistic penalty try, seemingly the only sort they are now able to score, like a sympathy snog given to a pathetic loser.
My son wailed for about the last ten minutes of the match; expressing the inner turmoil of many a New South Welsh-person. The only winners tonight was the person who won the $5000 from the sponsor, HSBC, during the “Flash for Cash” at half-time. HSBC must be counting their sponsorship worthless, because this was the only time those banners got to indoctrinate us with their brand image. In an homage to how the game was progressing, the crowd displayed the banners in the vain hope that they would not only win the money, but that the Waratahs might similarly be indoctrinated with the idea to indeed TRY.
It was lackluster. Lote failed to prove his worth, and was unengaged and unengaging. A far cry from the last World Cup where he even had a go at flanker during that whitewash against Namibia, where every Wallaby seemed to score. The youthful enthusiasm and sparkle has gone from this once charismatic winger; so much so that he’s been moved to the centres. The crowd still rallies behind him in desperation each time he touches the ‘Bert. However, there’s not much happening.
As for the rest of the team, Sam Knight-Cordingly stuffed almost everything he did. Peter Hewitt’s one man band continues to try and create points, but even he failed to do much. Curtly, the new boy, showed some potential tonight in a couple of plays that were slightly Larkamesque, but I fear the morale of the team might wear the young pup down. The most interesting Tah on field tonight seemed to be Matt Dunning off the bench. I swear a Channel Nine camera-man was working at the Stadium tonight, as there were many long, lingering looks via the lens at Dunning’s spectacular man-boobs. Recent form has reduced numbers of male supporters to such an extent that the footy chicks failed to front, possibly heading to Shark Park tonight instead for male attention. Clearly the camera-man had nothing to perve on in the crowds, as I noted quite a lack of pink-shirted pretty boys, who normally bring an entourage of a couple of cricket-wife clones. Come to think of it, there seemed to be more than one haircut amongst the blokes attending, and decidedly less product, and even fewer erect collars; to me all symbols that the North Shore schoolboys have abandoned the sinking Waratah ship. All things that make Matt Dunning the hottest ticket in town. Even the orc-like terrier Phil Waugh would have increased the glamour factor in Aussie Stadium tonight. Furthermore, I would say given the location and recent performance, the Aussie Home Loans guy should SELL, SELL, SELL, before property values plummet further. The Warpaths are not likely to draw a crowd at auction if they can’t draw a crowd to games.
I was there in my “Bring Back the Burke” t-shirt, fire burning in my belly with the realization that we need a sort of Beer Keg Putsch, to overthrow the Mackenzie Republic and bring about a new Reich in NSW Rugby. It wasn’t till after the game tonight that my husband informed me that God’s gift to Rugby is planning to become a Pomp, due to rules about how many convicts Newcastle allow on the payroll. When we got home, I was further informed that “The Fits Files” today quotes Chris Latham on the topic of Bringing Back the Burke for the World Cup. Apparently greater minds than Mackenzie’s have been thinking alike, and are trying to woo Matt back.
I wish I knew what led to him being shafted. His final game for the Tams had only 8000 in attendance; even more dismal than tonight (and that was Nathan Grey’s last game, too). It was unadvertised as their farewell match. Believe me, a Matt Burke fan such as myself would have known if more of a fuss had been made of it. Whatever the reasoning, I hope those who orchestrated his departure from Australian Rugby are feeling remorseful now, when Australian Rugby’s future looks so bleak.
What can we, the fans, do to help. I suggested that if every Warpath fan gave $1 a day for the next year, we might be able to sponsor Burke, like the Rugby refugee he is, back into the Australian Union. However my husband, suddenly willing to disclose important facts about Burke’s future, reminded me that there seemed only about 18000 of them (and that’s assuming the South African fans would come to the sponsorship party, for the sake of the game).
So perhaps if every Wallabies fan, of which there must still be a few hundred thousand (especially given how well all those old fellas, like Sharpe and Cannon, who stopped being part of the East Coast RU stud farm and went out to pasture in WA, are doing), gave a dollar a day for the next year, imagine the contract we could offer Burkie? Even if only 10000 well-off Wallabies fans were able to help starving Rugby devotees everywhere, we could offer him $3.65million next season alone. Surely a better investment than Lote’s contract, and certainly a small price to pay for Australia’s sporting pride. How else will we ever face the Tri-Nations, let alone the impending World Cup, without him?
If you would like to support my “Bring Back the Burke” campaign, please post a comment as a way of signing an on-line petition, and if you’d like your very own “Bring Back the Burke” t-shirt for future home games (if you can drag yourself out of an Ewen-induced coma to get there), indicate this also, with a link to contact details, so I can let you know costs etc. All proceeds go towards the inevitable bidding war with England.
Eeeek!!! I just realized that English citizenship would eventually enable our Matt to play for the THEM. Please! For the sake of our face (and his! Have you ever seen a Lion with a good head? He already said in his first game for Newcastle, when his nose got smashed, “I paid the price, and the price was beauty!” [so humble, but with good reason, for all reasons]) in international sport, don’t waste another moment. Post now!
Together, we can make a difference.
My son wailed for about the last ten minutes of the match; expressing the inner turmoil of many a New South Welsh-person. The only winners tonight was the person who won the $5000 from the sponsor, HSBC, during the “Flash for Cash” at half-time. HSBC must be counting their sponsorship worthless, because this was the only time those banners got to indoctrinate us with their brand image. In an homage to how the game was progressing, the crowd displayed the banners in the vain hope that they would not only win the money, but that the Waratahs might similarly be indoctrinated with the idea to indeed TRY.
As for the rest of the team, Sam Knight-Cordingly stuffed almost everything he did. Peter Hewitt’s one man band continues to try and create points, but even he failed to do much. Curtly, the new boy, showed some potential tonight in a couple of plays that were slightly Larkamesque, but I fear the morale of the team might wear the young pup down. The most interesting Tah on field tonight seemed to be Matt Dunning off the bench. I swear a Channel Nine camera-man was working at the Stadium tonight, as there were many long, lingering looks via the lens at Dunning’s spectacular man-boobs. Recent form has reduced numbers of male supporters to such an extent that the footy chicks failed to front, possibly heading to Shark Park tonight instead for male attention. Clearly the camera-man had nothing to perve on in the crowds, as I noted quite a lack of pink-shirted pretty boys, who normally bring an entourage of a couple of cricket-wife clones. Come to think of it, there seemed to be more than one haircut amongst the blokes attending, and decidedly less product, and even fewer erect collars; to me all symbols that the North Shore schoolboys have abandoned the sinking Waratah ship. All things that make Matt Dunning the hottest ticket in town. Even the orc-like terrier Phil Waugh would have increased the glamour factor in Aussie Stadium tonight. Furthermore, I would say given the location and recent performance, the Aussie Home Loans guy should SELL, SELL, SELL, before property values plummet further. The Warpaths are not likely to draw a crowd at auction if they can’t draw a crowd to games.
I wish I knew what led to him being shafted. His final game for the Tams had only 8000 in attendance; even more dismal than tonight (and that was Nathan Grey’s last game, too). It was unadvertised as their farewell match. Believe me, a Matt Burke fan such as myself would have known if more of a fuss had been made of it. Whatever the reasoning, I hope those who orchestrated his departure from Australian Rugby are feeling remorseful now, when Australian Rugby’s future looks so bleak.
What can we, the fans, do to help. I suggested that if every Warpath fan gave $1 a day for the next year, we might be able to sponsor Burke, like the Rugby refugee he is, back into the Australian Union. However my husband, suddenly willing to disclose important facts about Burke’s future, reminded me that there seemed only about 18000 of them (and that’s assuming the South African fans would come to the sponsorship party, for the sake of the game).
So perhaps if every Wallabies fan, of which there must still be a few hundred thousand (especially given how well all those old fellas, like Sharpe and Cannon, who stopped being part of the East Coast RU stud farm and went out to pasture in WA, are doing), gave a dollar a day for the next year, imagine the contract we could offer Burkie? Even if only 10000 well-off Wallabies fans were able to help starving Rugby devotees everywhere, we could offer him $3.65million next season alone. Surely a better investment than Lote’s contract, and certainly a small price to pay for Australia’s sporting pride. How else will we ever face the Tri-Nations, let alone the impending World Cup, without him?
If you would like to support my “Bring Back the Burke” campaign, please post a comment as a way of signing an on-line petition, and if you’d like your very own “Bring Back the Burke” t-shirt for future home games (if you can drag yourself out of an Ewen-induced coma to get there), indicate this also, with a link to contact details, so I can let you know costs etc. All proceeds go towards the inevitable bidding war with England.
Eeeek!!! I just realized that English citizenship would eventually enable our Matt to play for the THEM. Please! For the sake of our face (and his! Have you ever seen a Lion with a good head? He already said in his first game for Newcastle, when his nose got smashed, “I paid the price, and the price was beauty!” [so humble, but with good reason, for all reasons]) in international sport, don’t waste another moment. Post now!
Together, we can make a difference.
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Mally
Comment by Dr B
Waratahs' management had their chance in 2003 and blew it!
He's our God now and we all worship at his church.
Comment by dgntr
You messed the lad up and you're getting what you deserve now ie. his refusal to come back and help you out.
The man is a legend in Geordie Land in England and that's where he's staying for at least another year or so.
Anyway he's a pom now, it's official, the man got himself british citizenship a couple of weeks ago.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ah
Comment by Leipy
Comment by Minnaz
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
As much as I love Matt (him being an Eastwood boy...the club my husband played for, my boys all play for).... I am more about bring back The Roff.
....but I'll support any campaign that will ensure we get Bill back.
Happy Birthday Matt!!..... for 26/03....he'll be 34.